


Dreaming Burns

by Raikcaa



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxious Caleb Widogast, Episode 45 Spoilers, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, Nightmares, oh and a dragon, someones on fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raikcaa/pseuds/Raikcaa
Summary: A little oneshot about episode 45. Caleb saw his friends on fire and I image that would be bad on the mental health and bring back memories of Caleb's backstory.





	Dreaming Burns

**Author's Note:**

> I got caught up and the recent episodes killed me, they were fantastic for character growth and overall content and Im so proud of Nott and Jester! Also Liam's reactions seeing Nott had 1 hp killed me! oh and Twiggy was so adorable.

The little girl was a mystery in herself, she was happy yet hiding something. Twiggy was a fascination hidden in a nuisance. Twiggy reminded Caleb of Nott, a tiny bundle of unconditional love yet fully capable. Twiggy was like Jester, a fun loving spirit always happy but lonely. Interestingly Twiggy held an object to another realm, a sphere of destinations and curiosity, a wonder on how she obtained such a thing. 

It all started with the mysterious “Happy Fun Ball of Tricks!” and a curious man. Arcane puzzles and oddities were interesting to say the least but this one was something that would shake the core of the Mighty Nein.

After fidgeting with black holes and gold coins Caleb had found an entrance to a wizard’s mansion, a place with many rooms and many possibilities and some of which would have grave unknown consequences. The first room was solved and the exit found with little consequences. The next was a study looking room, many locked books and furnished with other objects like a gnome eating chest. 

Fjord was unlike Caleb, he was made of water, inexperience and impulse yet both men had a sense of curiosity which maybe why they almost unleashed something chaotic with a blood pact. Fjord touched the glass and with a poof he was gone, isolated by choice and unknown to the group he would face a dragon.

The following members soon followed, Jester and Beau followed by Caduceus. Caleb and Nott decided to take a few minutes to unlock a few books unknown to the dragon tormenting their friends. 

Caleb in a study of many books who belonged to an unknown wizard would have seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime yet there was a sense of worry for their friends that already left. The temptation of knowledge and possibilities at Caleb’s fingertips. The amount of knowledge that could have been obtained from further study in this chamber was overwhelming. If this had occurred when the Mighty Nein was new to each other Caleb knew without a doubt he would have stayed longer. The memories of companionship and the remembrance that the Mighty Nein is a team kept him from pursuing knowledge. 

Nott asked him if he wanted any more spell books, anything else that she could unlock with her quick fingers.  
“I need them, let’s go!” said Caleb. In this very moment he wanted to leave and he wanted to see those he cared for safe on the boat. 

Together with Nott he touched the glass and with a familiar whoosh, they left the library. 

They soon found themselves falling and falling until they fell past the sight of a large blue dragon and crashed into the ground. A dragon, something that you would not expect to see was hovering over Caleb. He turned to his left and saw Nott who was just as frightened as he. Caleb didn’t get the chance to see any of his companions, he assumed that everyone else was gone and he and Nott were alone in a chamber with a damned blue dragon. Caleb also noticed a fire elemental shooting flames at the dragon in the form of a dead burning mage.  
“We’re running. It’s bad” Caduceus Clay’s voice as the cleric emerged from the stone wall to touch an orb which teleported him away. 

Still lying prone he saw Fjord appear from the effect of blink and rush to teleport away. Twiggy was in the corner letting an arrow loose as she yelled something about touching the orb to leave the chamber. 

He looked over to Nott as the goblin unleashed an arrow causing an explosion to hit the dragon, herself and Caleb. 

Caleb knew he would not survive an attack from a dragon, he was already hurt and the explosion did not help. Caleb knew that Nott would not leave unless he was out first, and Twiggy was close enough to touch the orb at her will. Caleb cast expeditious retreat and was easily able to escape and hopefully Nott would follow behind him. 

Caleb landed on the ship where they first went into the orb. He saw Beau and Caduceus, he saw Fjord covered in ash as if he were burnt. Caleb did not see Jester, this was alarming as he thought Jester had already escaped.  
“Jester? Is she still in there?” Caleb questioned.  
“I am afraid so” Fjord’s voice was filled with worry, “She looked hurt...” his voice trailing off as they awaited her the rest of the group.

Caleb was now filled with worry, exhaustion and a feeling of anxiety, he knew Nott would not leave Jester behind. He shouldn’t have left them behind yet he knew he couldn’t have done anything to help.

A few moments passed as mere moments turned into minutes. Nott appeared beaten and hurt, she was covered in blood and ash. A second later before Caleb could react to his friend, Jester appeared hurt and on fire. Jester and Nott hugged as Caduceus healed the group, Twiggy appearing minutes later happy and exclaiming she killed the dragon with a tooth to show!

Caleb was quiet as he saw his friends on fire in his growing imagination. His friends, the people he cared most would end up as his parents did and he wouldn't be able to help. He would be broken again. 

This whole adventure was his fault, he should have left the damn sphere alone. He could have gotten to his friends faster. He could have attacked the dragon before he left. He should have done something. His guilt overwhelmed him as he quietly stared at the ground.

He snapped back into reality for the moment. He held Nott for a moment and carried them off to their quarters for a good night's sleep. 

It was not a good night’s sleep. Caleb had nightmares, the smell of burning flesh and the cries of his friends filled his sleep. Caleb watched as his friends burned in his fire, the words and teachings of Trent Ikithon filled his head. Caleb backed away from the sight of his friends reaching towards him. 

He turned his back and saw Nott, her eyes filled with tears and pain. She whispered words of forgiveness that turned into accusations of betrayal and hatred. Caleb froze and watched Nott collapse into a pile of burning bone. 

Caleb ran and ran. He came to a familiar house, a familiar homestead. He was in the town of Blumenthal and at the door of his childhood home. He couldn’t open the door but he heard the laughter of a young child with innocence that would grow into a monster. He heard his parent’s voice forming loving words. 

The precious moment was ruined with the sound of a cart being hurled towards the door. He saw the faces of Astrid and Eodwulf chanting the words of Trent, the middle figure stepped forward to set the cart aflame. The middle figure was a mirror image of Caleb. 

The screams erupting from his childhood homes was the last thing he heard as he woke. He woke up, tears falling from his cheeks and sweat covering his brow. He saw the figure of Nott curled on the edge of his bed even though she had one of her own. 

In that moment Caleb decided that he had grown too close to this group, he would bring them harm, he would burn them if they came closer. He didn’t want their fates to be the same as his parents. He didn’t want to leave Nott but he knew she was happy in the company of the Mighty Nein. 

In that moment Caleb decided to close himself further, isolation in his thoughts and studies he knew he didn’t deserve these people. He knew he had to leave.

**Author's Note:**

> I might write another oneshot about episode 45 but highlighting Jester and Nott's relationship! I am also Raikcaa on Tumblr


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